David's been sick since Thursday evening with food poisoning or a virus, not sure which.

It's been a tough week

God has been active in so many ways -- cards, calls, visits, food. .

I've seen answers to several long time prayers this week, too.

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The favors of the Lord are not exhausted...

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Testing and Believing

I spent this morning catching up on a dvd lesson that I missed last week because of ankle problems.

The text was God's testing of Abraham, the very troubling story of God instructing Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, the son of promise and covenant.

The instructor (Jeff Cavins) pointed out Genesis 22:5: Abraham "said to his servants: "Both of you stay here...(the boy and I) willworship and come back to you."

I never noticed that verse before. Abraham fully expected that he would return and his son with him.

In verse 8 he says to Isaac: "God will provide the sheep for the holocaust."

No wonder God "reckoned (Abraham's) faith as righteousness." Abraham trusted God with what was most dear to him, fully believing that God would deliver both Isaac and himself even when Abraham couldn't possibly know how.

Over and over again God challenges me to trust Him. He asks me to let go of a person or an activity, a dream or a goal. It's hard. I trust and then I take it back and trust and take it back again in fear and doubt.

Sometimes God does not restore as we hoped. The death of Jesus is the prime biblical example and the resurrection is the answer. God always has a plan and a purpose, often beyond our imaginings, but always better than we could have dreamed.

My God is a rock in a weary land.

Guilty Pleasures

For several weeks now we've been following the calamities of the evening news with "America's Funniest Home Videos".

AFV's 21st century Laurel and Hardy-esque pratfalls (some must be staged, but most videos capture the comedy of daily life) are the perfect antidote to the nightly news.

We end the day together laughing.

Watching AFV began accidentally, maybe serendipitously, with channel surfing after the news.

The hilarity has become an evening blessing.

God is with us.

A perfect 10

Ten more days of no weight bearing which means 10 more days of hopping around. The broken bone has shifted and we feared surgery might be necessary. I'm so grateful that's not the case.

My th0ughts and prayers turn daily toward God's will for me in these days at home with my leg propped up. Mom sent this prayer. We're memorizing it together

O Christ Jesus, when all is darkness and I feel my weakness and helplessness, give me the sense of Thy presence, Thy love, and Thy strength. Help me to have perfect trust in Thy protecting love and strengthening power so that nothing may frighten or worry me. For living close to Thee I shall see Thy hand, Thy purpose, Thy will through all things.

Ready!

It's been a beautiful day. From my desk chair, I looked out on the clear blue sky with the sun shining through the bare trees. Many folks out today walking dogs in advance of another rain storm tomorrow. Wish I could have been among them but I am grateful for a window and eyes to see the world beyond these walls.

I prepared myself for Tuesday night's study of Genesis 12-24. My most memorable quotes:

13:8 Let there be not strife between you and me...
15:1 I AM your shield
15:6 Abraham put his faith in the Lord who credited it to him as righteousness
18:14 Is anything too marvelous for the LORD to do?
22:1 God called; "Abraham!" "Ready!" he replied.

That's my favorite.

Lil' darlin'

Does this lil' darlin' look like she could ever do wrong? Absolutely too cute, right?

Unable to walk her, I've been letting her out the back door in the morning. She knows the drill. While she does her 'business', I sit by the door awaiting her return while saying my morning prayers.

Today she ran out as usuall, but was out only a few minutes. She appeared at the door, I let her in, and settled back into my prayers. She headed into the family room. My back was to her. In less than 10 minutes I heard the distinctive feet scratching carpet sound that should happen only on grass!

So much for prayer!

My "BAD GIRL -- NO NO NO" rang out. Head down, she circled around my back and positioned herself in the cornerbehind me and sat there for 10 minutes. I did not teach her this! Too cute. I had to smile.

But prayer was over. I could not recover the inner quiet and attentiveness to God.

Given that she must be corrected, I'm not sure I should have done anything differently.

But in a sense, Satan won the moment disrupting my time with God.

In another sense, I gave into the temptation to anger. The mess really wasn't that important. Definitely I sacrificed, by my response, the peace that comes only in company with God.

Helena gave me a ride to Bible study last night. They began Genesis 2 weeks ago and I was intrigued with insights I'd never heard before. Yet I was aware in a new way of the grief I've been feeling at having my usual activities curtailed. My home projects have kept me busy enough to blunt missing familiar faces and places. The feelings surged last night.

Last night into today I've been reminded, one would think serendipitously but not -- that patience and trust in God's purposes for my life will never cease to challenge me. Properly chastised, I've still been restless today.

My stitchery has climbed out of the doldrums of several days ago! It's beginning to look like I may actually finish!!! I continue to experience some anxiety that I'll make some huge b00-boo that'll be revealed only at the end. I forge on nonetheless reassuring myself that even if that happens I'll have the satisfaction of finished (even if flawed) big project.

This pic is for George. :-)

Sarcasm rules

News flash! The orthopedic surgeon says my ankle is still broken! It took 2 1/2 hours to reach that stellar insight.

Bad news is that I have to wear the big bad bubble boot for another 4 weeks. That means I can't drive for another month. PHOOEY.

The good news is that I can put weight on it 'as tolerated'. That means no more hopping! HURRAY!

I almost edited the order of the last 2 paragraghs, but in deference to the truth I'll leave them just the way they came out.

Steps and Mis-steps

Yesterday I was ready to finish the last small portion of one side of my counted cross stitch project. However, I met problem after problem: The stitches wouldn't line up according to the pattern. I finally discovered that a way back I'd started a row one stitch too far over. ACKKKK! Tempted as I was to go (it was only 1 stitch!!), I removed stitches from that whole area.

I spent today restitching. It was still a struggle. Late this afternoon, I discovered I'd dropped another stitch. Fortunately, that repair required just adding a stitch to 4 rows.

Tomorrow I'll move on (I hope!) and complete the left hand side of the design.

I thought a lot about life's mistakes. How hard it is to admit them and take the time (as much as is possible, for life is not a stitchery project) to make what was wrong, right. It's not just the time though, it's choosing humility over pride and integrity over dishonesty.

It's much easier to cover up, make adjustments, and move on.

But as with the stitchery project, that choice will throw the rest of the design out of kilter.

There are few do-overs in life; but we can do-over our character. With God's help we can name our weaknesses, be wary, and grow in virtue.

Be it done to me according to your will.

In the bud there is a flower

Perhaps the transformation of a place of suffering into a place of spiritual transformation results from the sufferer's surrender of the moment or the event or the experience to God as an offering. It becomes a type of Calvary; it is joined with Christ on Calvary. It is offered as a sacrifice, albeit a miniscule sacrifice (as compared with that of God). But like the death of Jesus, a life is willingly entrusted to God's good purposes.

Yahweh promised his people a future full of hope. (Jeremiah 31).

By God's grace one is united with Jesus. That is a holy place.

Holy places

He (Jesus) ascended the hill of the cross and transformed it into the seat of glory, a holy place. Magnificat (Jan., p. 180).

Doesn't that suggest Jesus can transform any place of suffering and death into a holy place? Any heartbreak, any grief, any sorrow?

That our tragedies can become places of life and light?

I believe so.

Even if I don't know how, I can remember and have faith in the God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Listen up!

This morning I began to assume some of my usual household chores-- getting up with the dogs, letting them out, feeding them, making coffee and doing laundry. Tomorrow I'll tackle ironing. I haven't hopped so much since I was a little girl!

Today's Old Testament reading was the story of Samuel hearing the voice of God. Eli had to tell him what he was hearing, but once Samuel knew he said: "Here I am Lord, your servant is listening."

I believe God has a message or lesson for me in this experience.

I will try to listen so as to hear.

Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.

Possessed

Another day dawns with the sky glowing red, orange, pink, yellow and purple. Scripture says the Messiah will come at dawn; I say Christ comes every dawn with each new day offering new opportunities and new challenges; a new invitation to follow him and to invite Him to possess me and fill me with the Light of Life.

Someone asked me this morning, "Why are you so interested in spiritual direction?"

Why, indeed?

Uncle

Uncle! Okay I said it: Uncle!!

It's been 6 days since I broke my ankle and living with the consequences is hard.

This is not a piece of cake.

I'm eating crow.

I wrote rashly and without due consideration (read knowledge, i.e. stupidity) of the challenges of life with one leg. Think shower. Think bathroom. Think snack, not to mention meals. Think getting up and down stairs (or not) in a 3 story house. Think taking a walker everywhere I go, even to get out of bed.

In all circumstances, give thanks...

When morning gilds the skies

When morning gilds the skies, my heart awakening cries, 'May Jesus Christ be praised."

Clutching the back door, I hobbled out onto the deck to snap this

stunning morning sky. It still makes my heart sing.

Hobbling and hopping are my means of locomotion these days. My mantra: patience, patience, patience.

Matt asked where were my Yaktrax when I fell. I hadn't thought about the irony of my downfall (pun intended) despite that thoughtful gift.

Jesus, I trust in you.

Wrap yourself up

Somewhere recently I read this piece of advice: Wrap yourself in the love of God. Let that love be your fortress against every challenge or trouble.

Quite independently, a friend talked about Paul's advice to 'put on the armor of God'.

I'm reminded of the psalmist: "God is my hiding place", "my rock", "my refuge".

New Order of Things

Well, once again my life has dramatically shifted gears.

Walking in the neighborhood Monday I fell and broke my ankle.

A soft boot, a walker, and no weight bearing for at least 2 weeks later and I get to once again "glorify God in these circumstances." (See John 8).

Fortunately I have experience with this drill! Time to slow down (actually come to a screeching halt) and live more meditatively for the next few months. Also, I get first hand insight into the experiences of my friends at the nursing home who live with loss of independence and mobility all day every day. It will be good for me.

My leg hurts, but not the rest of me. For that I can be grateful. Compared to leukemia this is a piece of cake.

Home by another way

Christmas tree came down yesterday. Usually that's a job I put off but this year I felt peace as I worked and once everything was put back to order.

This morning the clear sky let the nearly full moon cast long shadows. It would have been a disastrous if I'd been trying to elude detection for the moon shone like a spotlight. The bone-chilling cold combined with the fierce wind kept me from lingering any longer than absolutely necessary. Even Heidi, prone to nose around a bit was easily urged in!

I remembered that shining moon during church this morning as the story of the magi, led by a shining star, was read.

St. Gregory the great wrote: When the king of heaven was born, the heavens knew that he was God because they immediately sent forth a star; the sea knew him because it allowed him to walk upon it; the earth knew because it trembled when he died; the sun knew him because it hid the rays of its light. 'The manifestation of the Son of God to the world begs belief from us by which we will be led home by another way. (from Magnificat, p. 52.)

From my experience, God will lead us home by a better way than any I might have chosen on my own.

The new year tip toed in last night. Although we're not revelers by nature, the quiet seems fitting: It's a time for reflection and prayer as the past is put to rest and the new dawns with the the flip of a digital clock. We're waiting and hoping each in our own way that our own yearnings be satisfied and our anxities relieved.

No promises except those of God to meet us in our needs and provide. Can we trust that even when God seems distant, inaccesible? The New Testament, particularly with people like Simeon and Anna, the woman with the hemorrhage and the man born blind, gives rich evidence that God comes to people usually unexpectedly and often after long years of prayer.